​I support arranged Marriages.

The only excuse that people have against arranged marriages is “I want to get married to the man of my choice, a man that I love.”

I have known through experience that, that shit called “falling in love,” is what it is. Shit.

How people ‘fall in love.’

Lemme tell you how “falling in love” goes down and you’ll relate to how you felt towards the person that you claim you “fell in love” with.

You first see that person, and you are attracted to them physically.

You keep thinking about how beautiful they are for days until that desire becomes a burning obsession in your heart and mind.

This is the point that you overlook their flaws. And start thinking that they are perfect.

And you “fall in love” even more.

No matter how broke they are, no matter how much of a psycho they are no matter how bad they might be you will still don’t care.

That obsession clouds your judgement.

This is Where parents come in handy because they are not as confused as you are.

Then you console yourself by saying that no one is perfect.

Maybe no one is perfect but some traits in a person are the worst.

Like me, I hate ladies who are manly. Psychopaths.

If somebody was a psycho, your parents will have known all about it before getting you two married.

Who will give out their children to a psycho? No one


62 thoughts on “​I support arranged Marriages.

  1. I believe in parental consent for marriage. I also believe, however, that no young woman, or girl, should be FORCED to marry anyone who is only in the picture because of his “wisdom” or worse, because of his wealth or status. Marriage should never be a shell game.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Would you have wanted your mother to have chosen a wife for you, knowing how you felt about her? She might have thought, “Oh, that woman is just like me, so she must be perfect!” 😉
    Seriously though, I hear what you’re saying, but I’m not sure that the arranged marriage thing always works, any more than a love match always works. The most important thing is that you “like” the person you are with and you are friends, because when the sex and passion calms down or dies altogether due to various life circumstances or health problems, and you wake up to the fact that you have only been in love with somebody’s body rather than their mind and personality, then you have big problems.
    My main worry about arranged marriages is if the girl has no say in the matter and only meets the man on the wedding day, to then discover that he’s a cruel bully, or abusive drunk, or whatever, and probably has about twenty mistresses, while she cannot even glance in another man’s direction, let alone talk to him.
    I don’t hold truck with aggressive feminism, as those females often want to dominate men, but I do believe in equality, while also accepting there are some things men do better than women do, and some things women do better than men do.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I always love reading your comments.. You bring in ideas…
      But I wasn’t talking about FORCED MARRIAGES,,,
      I was talking about arranged marriages.
      There is a big difference.
      Being married to a bully is forced marriage..
      My daughter has her rights as a person.
      What am talking about is arranged marriages.
      Her, marrying people that I know inside out.
      The person that am worrying about would be if she chooses a husband for herself and he turns out to be a wife beater.
      I’d kill him.
      So I’d be doing it for her so she won’t be a widow.
      All points have their down side here.
      The difference between me and other men is I don’t force anyone to do anything.
      If she chooses her husband well and good. But there are consequences

      Liked by 2 people

      1. He appears somewhat crooked to me, may be saying things he does not believe in too. I guess I have met him once in Africa. So Emmanuel (I so feel like shortening such a long name but then Prof. Brian Little will think I am being an extrovert) what do you really prefer ? being non-crooked has many pluses,
        your conscience does not bite you much but then camouflage has its own advantage, one has to pick the tools appropriate to the job at hand.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. By crooked, do you mean he’s being the devil’s advocate just to promote discussion? In the UK, crooked means dishonest and up to all sorts of illegal things, but I don’t get those sort of vibes coming off him. Yes, he’s opinionated, which is better than having no opinions at all, he’s on a learning quest, and he’s ambitious. I think that also he is youngish and will calm down a bit, I remember being insufferably opinionated in my twenties and early thirties, although some of that was a mask for my insecurity!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I’m guessing he’s young, from the picture in this post, unless it’s someone else walking his dog, but as the dog is meant to be mega-fierce I’m concluding that it probably doesn’t like anybody but its master taking it for walks! Of course, young means anyone younger than me, not that I consider myself an ancient monument, or anything like that 😉 https://emmanuelrockan.wordpress.com/2018/02/01/%E2%80%8Bhow2-secure-your-house-family/

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I truly support this. I’ve heard of few so-called love stories and how things change all of a sudden; in fact some leave because of lame reasons. Those heart-melting texts turn into texts of ignorance and hate. That will never be in arranged marriages, not completely but atleast there will be adjustments and understanding. Well written. 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  4. My Armenian great-grandmother (who had an arranged marriage) often said love was a choice you make after you are married. She was happily married — but it was a decision not a feeling all the time. I believe that whether you enter into marriage on your own or through an arrangement it’s the attitude of the partners that keeps the marriage going. Have you seen Arranged or Sweet Land? Two lovely movies about arranged marriages.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Any marriage, arranged or love, must be confirmed only after the two persons have got enough time to know each other well, feel good and comfortable with the other and understand each other. No marriage should be forced or based upon only the parents’ views. There should be consent from the partners-to-be. Then all is fine. Arranged marriage should not be put as a compulsion to marry that person but as a way to introduce a presumably worthy partner and let the two judge and know each other.

    Just another thing, I would like to know what kind of qualities you call ‘manly’.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I think I have still not got my answer about manliness. I cannot think anything that can be included as manly except physical and biological characteristics of the two genders. If you refer to being independent, confident, having opinions, earning, supportive, being strong, being tough etc as to being only manly, then you are wrong. These should be the qualities in every human.
        Also, if you think being dominant, being rough, showing swag or being oppressive are manly, then you are wrong too because these qualities are undesirable in men too.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. So many truths in here about love being mostly attraction a lot of the time; I know it lights up the same region of the brain as when someone it high on cocaine, so is it just another drug? Maybe lol.

    Like Ekhart Tolle says when talkng about love; “everything eventually turns to it’s opposite.” So as much as someone loves another, it can turn into hate eventually, and it often seems to when looking at divorce rates, and when people break up, or even with people that stay in unhappy relationships. Not everyone, but makes you think.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah that really stuck with me after listening to that audiobook a few times (“The Power of Now.”) Tried to think of all the times (relatonships) it was wrong, and there more example backing his philosophy that against. Makes as good an argument for arranged marriages, as not lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. marriage is like a contract between two people for a life time.. without knowing the other person you cant marry him/her .. arrange marriage is like a bet .. you dnt knw what will happn next,

    Liked by 2 people

  8. It is funny because I was just thinking about this when we learned about different cultural beliefs in anthropology. I believe that it comes down to individual circumstances but I also see how it could lead to negative outcomes as it is important to,​ personally, know the individual in order to determine compatibility. Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Why would they do it any idea ? Most of the people are not quite rational though. But all I have is “suspect” Is there really such an algo that you follow ? It does go down well with your personality.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Hell no to psychopaths.
    I’m totally against arranged marriages, it’s just not right to be forced or made to marry someone you wouldn’t necessarily choose for yourself.
    Yes It’s okay to ask for parents opinion and all that but at the end of the day it should be your decision whether or not you want to marry a particular person or not.

    Liked by 1 person

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